I teach a course this semester at Cornell on Intimate Relationships: Liking, Loving, and Interpersonal Attraction. Recently, I asked my class for ways to make someone get interested in you who has not shown much interest. 10 Ways to Make Someone Get Interested in you Here are the tips my class has for you, with …
It’s impossible to know what your partner really feels for you. And yet, many of us grind ourselves up trying to figure out the “true” feelings of our partner. Since you can’t know for sure what your significant other is thinking or feeling, what can you do to figure out if your relationship is on …
The 5 Questions You Must Ask to Assess Your Relationship Read More »
Have you ever been in a relationship where you wondered “Why am I so negative towards my partner?” Or maybe it’s your partner who keeps being overly critical. What do you do when someone only sees the bad in you? The Secret Years ago, I came across Maria (not her real name!) over a couple …
Relationship Killers, Part 3: When All You See is the Bad Read More »
Searching in vain for the perfect Valentine’s Day When I was young, I loved paintings by Norman Rockwell. I spent so much time looking at them. They depicted a lovely Americana that we all wish we remembered. But we don’t remember it—not really–because it never quite existed. It is the stuff that fantasists’ dreams are …
If you are not looking forward to Valentine’s Day…. Read More »
A genre of fiction and especially of science fiction is one in which people innocently wander into a place and then cannot escape it. We often find a similar scenario when people stay in unhappy relationships. In the screen adaptation of Stephen King’s Crouch End, for example, two characters, Lonnie and Doris Freeman, wander into …
The younger ones among you may be faced, now or at some point in your future, with the decision of whether or not to have children. Having children is quite different from imagining what it’s like to have children. In this article, we’ll discuss the potential effects of having children on a couple’s finances and …
In a relationship, partners constantly have to make decisions that affect both partners’ interests. In good relationships, however, partners act with wisdom and actively try to promote the other partner’s well-being and interests, sometimes at their own expense. In this article, we’ll discuss why wisdom is relevant if you want to have a good relationship; …
The Role of Wisdom in Successful Intimate Relationships Read More »
Flying through dense clouds, John F. Kennedy, Jr., crashed his plane. He apparently became disoriented and was not sure whether he was going up, down, or level. It is unfortunate, but that can happen when it is hard to see: One cannot get one’s bearings. This also can happen in relationships. Sometimes, we become uncertain …
Every intimate relationship has a power balance, and that power balance is different for every couple. The balance of power may change over time and the type of situation with which a couple is dealing, but the balance is always there. If a particular power balance works depends on two factors What matters most are …
When you enter a relationship, the first thing you think about, most likely, is whether you love your partner or whether you think you will fall in love with your partner. That can keep you going for a while, sometimes, for quite a while. And yet, there are so many things that can bring down …