Explaining love

In these posts, we explore the concept of love. What is love, and how do the components of intimacy, passion and commitment influence the love we feel for someone else? How do our dreams, hopes and narratives influence what kind of partner and love we search for?

a heart and a question mark

Love or Let Go? A Guide to Relationship Decision-Making

Are you feeling uncertain about the state of your relationship? Should you try to save it, or are you better off just calling it quits? Your decision-making gets even more complicated when you consider children, shared financial assets, debts, as well as your lives, which have been intricately linked over a long period of time …

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wilted flowers

Relationship Killers, Part 3: When All You See is the Bad

Have you ever been in a relationship where you wondered “Why am I so negative towards my partner?” Or maybe it’s your partner who keeps being overly critical. What do you do when someone only sees the bad in you? The Secret Years ago, I came across Maria (not her real name!) over a couple …

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red ball with smiley drawn on it

How to be Happier in Your Relationship (without Involving Your Partner)

In this article, we will discuss ways to make your everyday life and relationship happier without your partner doing anything; and share a number of science-backed tweaks and habits that can have a big impact on your happiness. Every relationship has its ups and downs. In fact, life has its ups and downs. That’s totally …

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sad, broken heart, background

If you are not looking forward to Valentine’s Day….

Searching in vain for the perfect Valentine’s Day When I was young, I loved paintings by Norman Rockwell.  I spent so much time looking at them. They depicted a lovely Americana that we all wish we remembered. But we don’t remember it—not really–because it never quite existed. It is the stuff that fantasists’ dreams are …

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Couple with three children

Why have kids?

The younger ones among you may be faced, now or at some point in your future, with the decision of whether or not to have children. Having children is quite different from imagining what it’s like to have children. In this article, we’ll discuss the potential effects of having children on a couple’s finances and …

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Couple sitting together enjoying landscape

Action speaks louder than words: What your nonverbal behavior says about your relationship

Flying through dense clouds, John F. Kennedy, Jr., crashed his plane.  He apparently became disoriented and was not sure whether he was going up, down, or level.  It is unfortunate, but that can happen when it is hard to see: One cannot get one’s bearings. This also can happen in relationships.  Sometimes, we become uncertain …

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human figure leaning on balance scale

Power Balance in Intimate Relationships: A Quiz

Every intimate relationship has a power balance, and that power balance is different for every couple. The balance of power may change over time and the type of situation with which a couple is dealing, but the balance is always there. If a particular power balance works depends on two factors What matters most are …

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