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Challenge #7: Develop your own relationship rituals

Rituals are a very important part of our lives, and people use them to achieve all kinds of goals: To be safe, to be successful in a game or exam, to have good luck, to celebrate important events, or to grieve a loss. Developing your own relationship rituals can give you a sense of connection with your partner.

Even simple relationship rituals can be very effective

Rituals give us guidance and direction. They also give us a sense of security because we are familiar with them and know what to expect. But they also give us an opportunity to shape the direction of our life and our relationships. Research has shown even very simple rituals can be quite effective in helping you achieve your goals.

Steve Jobs wore the same sweater just about every day, and asked himself every morning whether what he was about to do that day was worth it if it was the last day of his life. Some athletes make the Sign of the Cross before important sporting games or events, and Oprah starts her day with 20 minutes of meditation.

Bonding rituals can help couples create a powerful connection

Couples can have bonding rituals as well. Try to think of a new and meaningful ritual you can integrate in your life. For example, every family member in our household gets a kiss every time they leave. Or you can develop a secret sign that only your partner understands, like when you touch your nose it means “I love you”.

And even if you don't have a partner you can create a meaningful and effective ritual. Find something that is meaningful to you and gives you confidence, repeat it regularly, and enjoy!

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