Sternberg’s Love-Match Theory

 

On this page, we give you an overview of Bob Sternberg’s theory of love and explain how you can use this knowledge to improve your own relationships. The name Love-Match Theory is relatively new and we have started to use this name because the two parts of the theory are both about different ways in which you and your partner are a match for each other.

The two parts of the theory have often been referred to as the Triangular Theory of Love and the Theory of Love as a Story.

It’s useful to read this page because a lot of our writings are based on this theory, so reading this will give you some more background knowledge.

Sternberg's theory of love has been successfully used in scientific studies in more than 20 countries. That means that we’re not presenting you with personal opinions and relationship advice that may or may not work. We know from the work that’s been done by us and other scientists over decades that these basic assumptions hold true over a wide range of cultures and can indeed make a difference to your life!

Three elements define each relationship and make it special: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment

three heart-shaped balloonsThe first part  is about the three basic ingredients that are part of every relationship - intimacy, passion, and commitment. For those of you who are familiar with Bob's theory, this part of the theory has also been known as "triangular theory" because we've got these three important elements. Relationships are different in character because they differ in the amount of intimacy, passion, and commitment.

We can use the amounts of intimacy, passion, and commitment to create a personalized love profile for each individual in a relationship.

If you'd like to learn more about intimacy, passion and commitment - the three components that characterize each relationship you'll ever have, read on here.

 

Your Love Stories Influence Your Partner Choice, Relationship Satisfaction, and Behavior

open book with heart shapesThe second part of the Love-Match Theory is about our love stories - beliefs and conceptions we have about how our partner and our relationship should be. What matters significantly to the success of a relationship is that both partners have the same or compatible stories.

There is a large number of stories and while none of them cast doom on a relationship or guarantee success, some of them tend to be more successful than others.

If you're interested in learning more about the most common love stories people have, and how they influence relationships, read here.

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