Why I Started Studying Love

If I’m going to write about love, you should know something about how and why I first became interested in studying it scientifically. So here it is!

I decided to start studying love after a string of failed relationships.  Each one seemed to fail for a different reason, but they all failed.  I was sure there must be a pattern.  But what was it? Why did I keep failing in relationships?

I had just gotten tenure—a permanent position--in psychology at Yale and so I thought maybe I could expand my research beyond the research I was doing, to include love.  I thought my colleagues would be favorably impressed that I was willing to extend my research interests. In that respect, I could not have been more wrong. 

When people learned I was studying love, typical reactions were things like “He must have run out of ideas about intelligence,” “He must be getting soft in the head,” and “He probably wants to be a TV personality like Dr. Ruth” (at the time, a psychologist studying love who appeared on television  a lot).  But really, my goal was simply to understand what had gone wrong in a relationship I once had thought would last forever.

And now I believe I understand--and I want YOU to understand too.  I call my theory of love a love-match theory.  You need to find someone who matches you, but not just at a surface level but also at a deeper level. 

It's not enough to do a checklist.  Hmm, we match on age, religion, political views, background, attitudes toward parenting, or whatever.  You need to go deeper.

You and your partner need to mean the same thing by love and to have similar stories about what you want from love and in a loving relationship. This website will teach you both how to find such a partner or, if you are in a relationship, how to make the most of it—or decide that it just can’t be done.  Welcome to our lovemultiverse.com website. Let us know how it is helping you and how we can help you even more!